Ever wonder how it feels to be given the news that you have cancer? Well, since that’s the news I got this afternoon, I thought I’d share what it feels like. This is my third time hearing those words.
At first you feel like it can’t be true. Especially since this will be my third rodeo.But very quickly it sinks in that I am awake, not dreaming and that I just hung up from hearing my doctor give me the biopsy results. I got angry. There are so many things I’d rather do with my time than deal with what I know is ahead. But, with God’s help, deal with it is what I will do. OK, next…
I went into my husbands’ office and told him. He looked shocked, disappointed, sad, stood up, hugged me for a long time and then we prayed. We thanked God that He is with us and that this situation has not caught Him off guard. We thanked Him that he knows every detail of my situation and that nothing , including my complete healing and restoration is impossible for Him. We thanked Him that cancer is not the big c as so many call it. Christ is the BIG C and by His stripes I am healed. He has promised to work everything together for good, even those things we don’t understand and so we trust that there is kingdom purpose in this challenge.
Next I alerted my family, friends and prayer partners. The responses came flooding in. They made me laugh, cry and feel as though satan was getting kicked in the head. With every scripture proclaimed, every word of encouragement, every expression of support and love, the serpent was getting his head stepped on again and again. What an impotent jerk!
My mom was so strong and is putting me on some prayer lists. My sis said she’d come whenever I wanted a visit. One of my friends encouraged me to count on what I know. Because when you think about what you don’t know fear comes in. Fear and faith are in opposition. One friend said she saw me walking on water and praising God in the storm! I love that and I have already used that one! What a picture! One friend said she can be here in two hours if I need her. Another said I am surrounded by love and everyone is in my corner. Another friend gave me Psalm 121:1-2. Two other friends brought by orange roses and organic chickpeas both of which I enjoy so much. One of our daughters and her sweet hubby brought by dinner. Our other daughter called for a heart to heart chat. Our son texted me to offer anything we needed that might help. It would take a novel to roll out all of the encouragement that poured in. This is the body of Christ. Family locked at the heart.
What comes next is a PET scan, and appointments with several specialists. I will go through this appointment by appointment, day by day and I will loudly praise Jesus who overcame death and hell and whose name is above all other names, and that includes the name cancer. As one of my friends said, He is an all- consuming fire that can and will consume this evil invader.
I will put on my boxing gloves and my high heel sneakers and I will fight this fight. And I will win because I am more than a conquerer through Christ Jesus. My life is in His hands. I trust Him. He didn’t cause this but He is with me in it and a kingdom purpose not yet known will be revealed. To God be all the honor and glory!
Earlier today as I waited for results, I completed a revised script for Hallmark and sent it off to them. Tomorrow, as I wait for instructions on the plan of attack, I will be sitting in my sunroom writing a Christmas script for Hallmark. I will watch the birds around the feeder by my window, listen to music and smell my nag champa incense.
I will be filled with joy unspeakable, a peace that passes all understanding and love that never changes and never fails, all of which belong to me because I belong to Him.
If anyone reading this wonders how it is possible to walk in this measure of confidence, free of fear please get a Bible and read everything written in red. The words of Jesus. My confidence is in Him. “If you seek Him you will find Him when you search for Him with all of your heart.”
From the vantage point of this daughter- of- the- Most High God, that’s an overview of how it feels when you are told you have cancer. Now you know.
Love, laugh and live every second of every day to the fullest!